How to Make Friends at Work in Estonia
One of the biggest challenges foreigners face when they move to Estonia is not the weather, the language, or the bureaucracy.
It is making friends.
If you come to Estonia for work or studies, you may quickly realise that building a social circle takes far more time than expected. I struggled with this myself for years, which is why I decided to break this topic down into a series. This is the first part, focused on making friends at work.
Before anything else, there is one thing you must understand about life in Estonia.
Friendship here takes patience.
It took me five to six years to build friendships where I could truly open up and feel comfortable. That is not something everyone is prepared for. If you are in Estonia for a few months, or even one or two years, deep friendships are unlikely unless you meet unusually extroverted people.
If you are here long term and want a social circle that lasts, then let us talk about how to approach friendships at work.
Why Work Is Your First Social Anchor in Estonia
When people move to Estonia, they usually arrive for one of three reasons:
A job
Studies
A relationship or marriage
If you are here for work or studies, your colleagues or classmates will be your first real connection to Estonia. These are the people you will see every day and spend the most time with, especially in the early years.
Because of this, understanding workplace culture in Estonia is essential for building friendships.
However, work does not automatically turn into friendship here.
Understanding Estonian Work Culture and Social Boundaries
In Estonia, there is a very clear boundary between work life and personal life.
Spending eight hours a day with someone does not automatically mean you are friends.
Many foreigners struggle with this because, in other cultures, colleagues often become friends naturally. In Estonia, that transition requires intentional effort.
There are also two common workplace situations foreigners find themselves in.
Situation One: The Foreigner Bubble
Large companies like Bolt, Wise, or similar international firms have many foreign employees. In these environments, it is easy to stay inside an English speaking bubble where all your social needs are met.
This is comfortable, but if you stay inside that bubble, you will miss out on the Estonian experience entirely. You may live in Estonia without ever really understanding life in Estonia.
Situation Two: You Are the Only Foreigner
This situation is harder.
If you are the only foreigner in a department, or even the entire company, integration can feel slow and frustrating. Colleagues speak Estonian, joke with each other, and naturally bond, while you stand on the side feeling excluded.
I experienced this myself. At one point, I was the only foreigner in my department and initially the only foreigner in the entire company.
It is uncomfortable, but it is not hopeless.
Language Is the Bridge, Even Before You Speak It Well
One thing that helps enormously is learning enough Estonian to understand context. You do not need to speak fluently.
If colleagues are talking in Estonian and you understand what they are discussing, you can respond in English. Join the conversation naturally. Over time, people will switch to English around you without feeling pressured.
Long term, learning Estonian opens doors socially and professionally. It shows effort, respect, and commitment to life in Estonia. The benefits are enormous.
How to Actually Make Friends at Work in Estonia
Now let us get practical.
1. Be the Organizer
If you are a foreigner, especially a single one, you likely have more free time than your colleagues. Your coworkers have families, established social circles, and routines. They do not need to organize social activities.
You do.
If you want friendships, you must take the lead.
Suggest meeting outside work.
Plan something two or three weeks in advance.
Invite people for coffee, a walk, dinner, or an event.
You may be surprised how many people appreciate it. Not all Estonians socialize easily outside work, even with colleagues. When you organize something, you make it easier for everyone.
Being the organizer also builds leadership skills and social confidence. Nobody else will do it for you.
2. Step Outside Your Department
Do not limit yourself to your immediate team.
Talk to people from other departments.
Chat with someone in HR.
Say a few words to someone in finance.
Comment casually when you pass by someone’s desk.
Start with light conversation. Do not push into personal topics. Let familiarity build slowly.
Adding colleagues on social media is normal in Estonia if you already speak at work. It is not considered strange.
Small interactions add up over time.
3. Do Not Hide Behind Emails
Emails are efficient, but they create distance.
If someone is in the same office and you need an answer, go talk to them.
If something can be clarified quickly, walk over.
If a phone call is easier, call.
Face to face interaction builds warmth and trust. Being present as a real person, not just a name in an inbox, helps colleagues feel more comfortable around you.
What About Workplace Relationships
In some countries, workplace relationships are heavily regulated or discouraged. In Estonia, they are not unusual.
Many couples meet at work, and some go on to marry and have families. It happens naturally.
That said, do not force anything. Be respectful and professional. If something develops, it should happen on its own.
Two Simple Actions That Make a Big Difference
Before closing, here are two small things that dramatically increase how well colleagues connect with you.
1. Bring Something From Home
Whenever you travel to your home country, bring something back.
Sweets are perfect.
Food is a universal icebreaker. When I visited Pakistan, I brought sweets for my colleagues. They loved it and often compared it to similar things in Estonia. Conversations started naturally.
It does not need to be expensive or big. The gesture matters.
2. Be the Person Who Takes Photos
Estonians rarely take photos during gatherings. It feels awkward to them in the moment, but they appreciate it later.
Take pictures during team events, outings, or celebrations. Share them afterwards. Years later, people are grateful those moments were captured.
These shared memories help friendships last beyond the workplace.
