🍗 F: Fluent Narrative

When I moved to Estonia, one of the most surprising lessons in life in Estonia was how many everyday customs seemed backwards compared to what I knew. I’m from Pakistan, where greetings, small talk, and warmth are part of everyday life. In Estonia, many of those things still happen — just not in the way you expect.

Here are some examples of what many would call “rude behavior,” but that are considered completely normal in Estonia:

• Neutral expressions in public. Estonians often move through the world with very little visible emotion. They don’t smile or make idle chat. As one expat put it,

  “Estonians are comfortable with silence.” 
  It may feel cold at first, but it’s not personal. It’s cultural.

• Passing friends without greeting. On a city sidewalk, you might cross paths with someone you know and both stay silent. That doesn’t mean you dislike them. In Estonia, greetings usually happen when there’s something to say — not just because you saw each other.

• No small talk. If you hire someone or get help from a service provider, the interaction might be very direct. A “hello,” then the job gets done, followed by a “thank you.” No chit-chat. Other cultures may view this as distant, but Estonians see it as efficient.

• Comfort with nudity. Whether it’s the sauna tradition or public media, Estonians have a relaxed attitude toward nudity. It’s not provocative or awkward — it’s just natural.

• Low-key gatherings. You might arrive at a party, say a quiet hello, join the table, and leave later without big goodbyes. That’s totally acceptable in Estonia. It’s not coldness — it’s calm.

• Strong home boundaries. In many places, a friend visiting your home means a coffee, a snack, maybe hours of chatting. In Estonia, your home is private. Being invited inside means you are truly close. If you aren’t, it’s nothing personal.

• Simple food hosting. In other cultures, guests expect variety, abundance, and fresh-cooked food. In Estonia, you might be served store-bought pastries and black coffee — and no one bats an eye. That’s not lack of effort. It’s just how things are.

These behaviors reflect some core Estonian values:

• Personal space is important. Silence is respected.

• Communication is intentional.

• The culture values depth over performance.

And it matches what many cultural guides explain:

• Estonians prefer quiet over noise, privacy over openness, and sincerity over spectacle.

• Saying even one word in Estonian like “Tere” can build trust.

When you step into life in Estonia, you’re not just moving to a new country. You’re entering a new rhythm — one where silence, boundaries, and self-sufficiency speak louder than words.

🥂 C: Crunchy Conclusion

Living in Estonia means being comfortable with difference. What may seem unfriendly from one cultural lens is often a sign of respect in another.

So, if you’re planning to move to Estonia, here’s what to keep in mind:

• Don’t take things personally. Observe first, interpret later.

• Learn to appreciate silence. It’s a form of honesty.

• Respect personal space. If invited in, it means something.

• Use small moments — like a proper greeting — to build trust.

Life in Estonia isn’t about conforming to someone else’s standard of “friendly.” It’s about discovering how respect, calm, and quiet can create a society that runs on trust and mutual understanding.